One can love more than one person at a time. Romantic-type love, not just friendly love / maternal / paternal / sibling. Of course, degrees vary and perceptions definitely do. [ I think I might have written about this earlier but it keeps coming back and haunting me because I find it difficult to articulate my “explanation”. ]

And to be the someone who is loved by many, is a special place to be. Special because it’s a whirlwind of emotions and a concoction of good and bad. Overwhelming, yet with a flavor of addiction. One needs to be a special kind of human being to handle being in such a vortex and not let it spin out of control. And the cycle never stops. You’re nice, so you’re loved more and so you’re nicer still, etc.

To be able to feel the rush of chemicals in my head and body when the people indulging in love are not me or mine. To be able to watch and swoon and smile.

Sometimes, it’s both the weather and it’s him, even when I’m wading in the desert and he’s making love to someone else.

She’s 16 years old – on paper. Doesn’t look more than 14. She reeks of sweat and whatnot. Always ready with gossip. Was elated that her girlfriend’s boyfriend lost a hand in a work-incident; was giggling the entire time she was relating the tale. [ Some friend. ] She didn’t know how to cook so I taught her some and now she can cook a decent enough stew or two. Her mother is in the same trade. Cooking, cleaning, washing.

She is my maid. Her name is Bharti. And she is representative of Bharat’s rural women. In my eyes atleast. Uneducated. Overworked. Underpaid.
This one’s a little different though – she works at only two homes in the entire colony – a deviation from the others who work at atleast six homes.

She has some quirks but overall she’s no different from the other maids I’ve had over the years. I prefer doing my own housework but other demands always take over and I am unable to handle the stress. So I hire someone to help me out.

She languidly stares at walls while pretending to broom the floors. Same with when she has the mop in her hand. She stares out the window while washing the utensils. She sighs and rubs at her eyes while chopping vegetables. Once in a while she will ask me for a glass of cold refrigerated water. She refuses to touch the shitpot – “No, we don’t clean those.” I asked her why that was so. “Only jamadars do that, it’s a dirty job, we will become unclean.” I said, “So since I clean my own shitpots, that makes me unclean and a jamadar as well? And you take money from the hands of a jamadar! So you’re already unclean.” Of course, she didn’t get it. Expecting even an iota of intelligence was my fault.

While she does the housework, I am on the phone answering calls, working on the desktop and generally not paying her much attention – if I spent time literally standing on her head, why hire her in the first place? I’d much rather hope for the best and pretend that she does a passable job. Which she does. A passable job.

On any average day, she takes 30 minutes in total to sweep and mop the house, do the dusting, clean the two bathrooms and wash the utensils. The day I stand with her and get things done, it takes her 90 minutes to do the same. I told her to take 1/3rd the pay on those average days and the full pay on the one day I stand with her. Panic. “But that’s not how it works!” So I try my tack of logic again. And fail. She just stares at me dumbly. But if I don’t give her the shock treatment every once in a while, the 30 minutes will turn into 20.

I have to match wits with a witless 14 year old maid who would rather be having a roll in the sack with her best friend’s boyfriend.
I live in exciting times.

it’s not enough to hug you
I want to linger
just a little bit longer.

it’s not enough to be with you in the same room
I want to look in your eyes
just for a moment longer.

it’s not enough to shake hands with you when I meet you and take your leave
I want to twirl
holding your finger above my head.

it’s not enough to discuss business with you
I want to hear what you have to say
when you talk to no one else but you.

it’s not enough to share a drink with you
I want to get drunk on your voice
even when you don’t have much to say.

it’s not enough to tell you I have a crush on you
I want to do something about it
something = no idea what I’m talking about.

I do, however, have a crush on you.
And you’re not my husband.
Him, I love.
And I suffer the daily dreariness in his company.

How do I convince my client that the quality of work (product / service ) that I deliver is far superior than the others in the market? That I am far more professional that anyone else in the entire fucking country? That he is wasting his money by hiring that other service provider / buying that other product? How do I convince my Mom that I am not an alcoholic slut? How do I convince my child that throwing tantrums is not the best way for him / her to get what he / she wants?

The answer : you can’t.

People are stupid.
You cannot teach them the value of things YOU think are good. The reason you believe those things to be good are the very reasons why the others don’t value them. You can’t talk to an addict and rid him / her of the addiction. The only thing that could work is some kind of demonstrable action – which might work in your personal life but in your professional life, demonstrable = “giving it away for free”. Hence not-workable.

If you think that telling the truth to the client is professionalism, it is because you were raised that way. You are “conditioned”. This is what you believe. If the client thinks that people – who they think are telling the truth, have an agenda – they think so because they have been conditioned to think that way. Try what you might, that neural pathway in their brain is not going to change. You might think, “Let me do this one for cheap / free – just this once – because then the client’s viewpoint will magically change.” Don’t be a dumb fuck. Not only are you then conditioning the client to believe that fantastic work can be had for free, you are also conditioning yourself to working for free and generating low self-confidence.

You cannot devote your life to changing the neural pathways of one client and changing their conditioning. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do it / try it – I’m saying you cannot. Find people who think like you and work with them. The emotional and satisfaction-level payout will far outweigh the monetary one even if you get paid what you asked for.

There is no way to avoid meeting / interacting with such people – there are more of them than us. But treat it like a jungle safari – you see something in the distance that looks like shit, but you’re not sure. You walk up closer, to sniffing distance, it stinks. It is shit. Walk around it and beyond.

Don’t try to teach shit that it’s patchouli.

What’s the big deal with holidays anyway? It’s a rhetorical question.

Man made the calendar and decided to give names to days, months and whatnot. Religion quietly found a niche – even though the majority of the world doesn’t work, certain someones make money – a lot of money. So we have Diwali because someone decided to come back home, Christmas because two people from the opposite sex did what two people from the opposite sex do, New Years because… well because it was best to make a calendar with 365 days and some leap year trash thrown in every four years and because it makes good business sense to throw in an excuse for people to buy more alcohol and food and material things that are probably used once a year.

If you think this holiday season is the perfect excuse to show how much you love your family and friends, great – as long as you find such excuses often regardless of it being a holiday. Actually, even if it is just once a year you show your gratitude / love / suck upto your family and friends, it’s a good thing. At least you’re doing it.

But if you think the holiday season means anything else except an excuse to cosy up to people you love or yourself, you’re retarded.

There is no god, no Santa and while there might be magic and serendipity and destiny and chance, none of those are related to monetary and economic power. So quit trying to buy something to fulfill your emotionally depraved state and go hug someone.